Abortion or Adoption?

I will start with a disclaimer here.  I am not a doctor; I am not pro-abortion or anti-abortion. I feel it is between a mother and God if she chooses to have an abortion.

But here’s my story.  I was born 59 years ago to a single mom who already had two daughters with different “baby daddies” back in the 1950’s.  Abortions were certainly illegal then although I’m sure a woman could have had an abortion in a back alley if she looked hard enough for someone to do the deed. I guess my biological mother decided not to go that route or I wouldn’t be here to write this blog. I was adopted by two people who were not perfect but they were good parents. My daddy was the best-I was very close to him. My mom (my adoptive mom who was the only real mom I ever knew) had a bit of an abusive side to her but I survived – maybe with a few scars, but that’s life.  We all have scars.

Fast forward to 1980 when my (then) husband and I decided to start a family. Four years passed us by with no pregnancy happening and me being told I would probably never get pregnant. Now I find it pretty ironic that my biological mother had no problem whatsoever getting pregnant, it was what to do once she did get pregnant that was her issue.  Still, she had to be unselfish to have given me up and I thank her for that.

Moving forward to July 1984 it happened, I found out I was pregnant.  Of course I worried the entire pregnancy I would lose my child because for some reason I didn’t feel worthy and yet I had friends that were getting pregnant at the drop of a hat and two of them had abortions.  I will never judge them for that-that is not my place-that is between them and God. Let me be clear, my friends that have had abortions are good women who were in abusive situations and didn’t want to bring another child into the abusive marriage, but . . . . (fill in the blank).

In March 1985 I gave birth to a son and after that, there were no more pregnancies, but God blessed me with a wonderful son. He’s almost 30 and has a beautiful wife and two sons (one his and one his stepson).

And so here is where I’m going with this-one of my son’s in-law’s found out she was pregnant. I’m not sure if baby was planned or an “oops” but I know the parents-to-be were excited.  But, at 19 weeks gestation, baby was in distress as was momma. Mom gave birth to a 19 week baby (which some people may still refer to as a fetus since some places offer 2nd trimester abortions).  This baby, at 19 weeks gestation, was held after his momma went through labor and delivery. He took several breaths for about five to ten minutes and then he passed into God’s arms.  My son built a small casket for this baby who has a name and a burial site-he’s not tossed with medical waste.

So, if you find yourself pregnant and you decide you can’t take care of or don’t want the baby, think about adoption-thee are so many couples who want children that cannot have children.  Think about a little baby who, at 19 weeks gestation had a fully formed body (organs not being fully formed), a fetus who looks like a baby, think about the breaths they take and try to say they are not a viable baby.

Again, I don’t judge anyone who has had an abortion-it’s not my place.


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